I see
by that lionhearted vagabond
Summary: The war ends and Seamus is happy for a week before Gabrielle Delacour ruins everything. ::language


He finds Dean laying by an oak tree at the very edge of the Forbidden Forest at three in the morning. Though the bodies remain in the hall, the courtyard, rubble and all, has been turned into an impromptu dance floor by war torn veterans with an average age of eighteen.

He's as drunk as he's ever been as he stumbles forward, intent on finding somewhere to take a piss. Instead he finds his best mate spread out as if he's on a picnic, no major injuries in sight and most definitely breathing.

He almost cries in relief.

"Dean," he says, and is ashamed at how his voice cracks, "Oh God, Dean." The boy in question looks up at him and smiles,

"Seamus." And then because he's drunk and tired and _Seamus_ his pent up anger from a year of hurts chooses that moment to come boiling out, he aims a sharp kick at Dean's ribs, but stumbles over him in his inebriated state instead.

With a snarl he lifts his head off Dean's chest,

"Ye bastard, ye arse, ye feckin' tosser, 'ow feckin' hard would it'a been ta write me a bleeding note, I taught ye were gone ye feckin' prat." Dean laughs, his thin chest rumbling beneath Seamus's body. He's wearing the same jumper he'd had on the last time Seamus had seen him, there's something comforting in the image.

"I missed you too." And then Seamus starts crying. And then Dean's crying and they're just this pathetic pile of emotions that Seamus needs to get away from because he's not a _feelings_ kind of guy, alright? So he disentangles himself but refrains from getting up because he's still miles past completely shitfaced and would like to avoid embarrassing himself further.

"We should go up to the castle, everyone'll be thrilled that you're-" And Seamus lets the sentence trail off because dead is not a word he ever wants to use in relation to the man beside him.

Dean doesn't say anything for several steady heartbeats,

"I can't."

"What do'ya mean ya can't?"

"I've been running for a long time Seamus,"

"I know, ye left without a bleeding note remember?"

"I'm sorry," and the apology is for running and not saying anything, for dating Ginny to get him back for refusing to admit he was gay, for that time in third year when he borrowed five galleons for Zonko's and never paid him back, but mostly it's for this moment right now.

"I'm just not ready yet, it's hard, the transition." And Seamus really wants to have a long shouting argument but he still really has to piss so he glowers instead.

"I'll be back in a second," he says, but when he returns Dean is gone.

"You coward," he says to no one.

He meets Gabrielle Decalour after he has another argument with Dean about his desire to keep running. She's taking a walk by the lake and when she passes him she says a matter of factly,

"You're mad." Thinking of the broad shoulders and slim hips of the man walking away from him he thinks she's probably right.

"He's being an arse, alright? And being gorgeous doesn't negate that." Seamus considers the fact that a year ago he never would have considered admitting he found Dean attractive, but a year ago he'd never been tortured, which possibly put things into perspective.

"Whatever," the Gabrielle says, rolling her eyes.

**  
"So," Gabrielle says, plopping down in front of Seamus for breakfast before they start rebuilding the castle, "tell me about him."

"Who?"

"The gorgeous arse."

"He was my best mate for years and then the war started and he went away."

"Just like that? You just stopped seeing him?" Seamus sighs, spooning some sugar into his porridge and wondering why he was talking to the child in front of him.

"Yep."

"Weird," She says and flounces away, leaving Seamus with the distinct impression that she understands nothing of the war.

**  
The water laps against his feet, the wood of the dock warm beneath his back as the sun beats on his closed eyelids, throwing fireworks across his vision. Dean's breath is the only noise besides the lake slapping onto the shore. It is the happiest Seamus has felt in a year.

"Dean,"

"Hmm?" Dean asks.

"There's something I never told you-" But he doesn't finish his sentence because the dock vibrates as small feet approach.

"Hello Seamus," Gabrielle says, "and Dean too I suppose."

"Hello," they both say. Though Gabrielle smiles she refuses to meet Dean's eyes, settling her gaze several inches to the left of his head instead.

"I'm just going for a swim, don't mind me." And then she dives off the dock.

Gabrielle seeks him out for the final time as he walks down to breakfast three days later.

"Hey Gabrielle."

"Seamus, I-I need to talk to you."

"What?"

"I-I, I mean at first I thought it was harmless, I thought you knew, and you were so happy when i saw you on the docks, but then I was talking to Ginny and-and, well you're not crazy, well, I mean you are but not in the way I thought-and-and-and-"

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"Seamus, Dean's dead."


End file.
